Left Behind

So, it's been two weeks today since John (Click to follow his journey) left for his last round of training. People keep asking me if I'm okay and if it's been hard. My plan is to stay busy. I plan to do that by:

• Being more socialable than ever...or at least the first in a long time
• Hanging out with friends
• Joining Junior League of Atlanta
• Crafting projects
• Baking (I know my co-workers are so upset by this b/c they benefit from it)
  
• Babysitting a precious 3 month old
• Getting to know my neighbors better
• Oh, and being on the HOA Board
• Alpha Gam Advisor
• Alpha Gam Alumnae Group
  
• Trying to get into shape
• Playing with my dogs
• Visiting family
• Re-decorating the house (Yes John, you read that right...)

Just to name a few...

So far (in my two weeks), I've been doing pretty well. Last week, every day in my calendar was booked. This week is ... slowing down.

And, after a frustrating day at work plus not being able to talk to John just put things into perspective. As much as I can try to keep myself busy, I'm going to have these days. And, as strange as it sounds, I'm kind of thankful for today. When I tried to call John earlier (with no answer) and then called to say Goodnight, only to hear "I can't talk because I'm in a meeting...but I love you.", made me realize that it's starting. I need to get back into the habit of not being able to talk to him whenever I want. When he's gone, I can't just pick up the phone and call him to vent. I have to be the strong one. Lord knows that he has enough craziness and will have enough work to keep him busy, I can't distract him with my bad days or worries. I have to be the strong front; I have to put on my game face so that he can focus on his job there and not worry about me. Now I feel guilty--how selfish of me to call him and vent about something petty that I got upset about today when he is preparing his soldiers and their supplies for their upcoming deployment. He will be away from everything he knows and loves for a whole year, while being in a war-torn country, taking care of our soldiers who put their lives on the line for us everyday. Talk about a reality check.

So, that's why I have great friends that I can lean on... and, of course, my relationship with God that I can turn to as well. And if you want to be one of these friends, I'm accepting applications. :) It's these things that will get me through this next year...not to mention my long list above.

So, yes...Left Behind. But am I bitter or upset? No. I will be better for it... and so will we.